Day 7- A Day of Reflection and Travel

The best sleep in the jungle was that last night.  I awoke with such a sense of excitement and peace I wish I could have lived in that moment for all time.  We went down to breakfast to share in one last group gathering before our journey home.  Everything was so delicious and it got me thinking of just how I want to be eating at home and how much I will miss Miguel’s fresh and delicious cooking.  We share in one last session before we leave and then grab all of our gear to go. 

I will miss every one of these people at the Tierra Vida, they have all become like family.  I am so grateful that Jill and Casey were brought into our lives.  I now look at them as the example of a life that is so selfless.  They offer a place of serenity that allows you to process yourself and although they have a multitude of knowledge to share they only choose to share that which you need in the moment.  I know are paths will cross again for sure.

The staff here I will also miss greatly.  Aga's very calm and positive demeanour, she was so comforting to me on the day when Meagan was extremely sick.  Also without her guidance I don’t think that I would have recognised that the medicine had taken me the first time if it hadn’t been for some of the words she shared with me.   Also Miguel providing the best variety of fruits and vegetables daily kept my body refreshed and rejuvenated.   His passion for this work and medicine is so apparent.  Miguel was such an inspiration to me with how he conquered his fear that it gave me the courage to do it myself and then comprehend it after. 

And last of the staff, Ramses, who is my long lost brother in the jungle.  I had no idea upon arrival just how life changing his presence would be on me.  He helped Meagan when she could barely stand or move, he never left Kristen’s side when she was in her dark place, and without him I wouldn’t have been able to handle my own demons.  Every conversation or piece of advice that would come out of his mouth was always exactly what I needed to hear.  He always knew how to describe things in a way that brought so much perspective.  I really hope that when this is all over and I am home that we keep in touch because he has much more to teach me I am sure of it. 

As for my new family I have really connected with so many unique individuals that I cannot say I would have this level of respect for had I not just shared this astonishing trek.  Harvey has been like the dad here always looking after everyone and spreading so much love and joy.  I hope that he is able to sort out what he needs to at home so that he can share his powerful influence with them as well.  They don’t know what they have if they can’t see he is a beautiful human being. 

Irfan and Rifat have become very close to Meagan and I.  Irfan and I shared some very deep conversations and having similar backgrounds and interests I can see us keeping up communication and possibly participating in another ceremony at some point down the road.  I really wish him luck in his emcee career, I know how tough that can be but I have no doubt that after this experience that his rhymes will be inspired and his power of manifestation will bring him where he needs to be. 

The other Cody was the surprise of my trip.  He and I were slow to become friends but by the end we were sharing some of the craziest parts of our experience with one another and learning from each other without even knowing it at the time.  He is by far the most interesting of the group and also had the most eye opening experiences out of all of us from the sounds of his stories that are so vivid I felt like I saw them too.  He helps keep me humble and focused and I will miss him greatly.

Our Alberta crew Todd, Kristen, Lee and Jen who we shared a tambo with all week.  We will all miss Lee’s infectious personality that kept us vibrating high even when things weren’t always going so smooth.  Todd also played a very fatherly role throughout the week and we shared lots of fascinating conversations.  I really pray that he goes in and has a profound experience on his last night.  He and Harvey deserve to have a selfish night after having been there for the rest of us all week.  Jen has completely transformed before our eyes like a beautiful butterfly.  She is smiling and happy and is even talking to everyone.  I can see that her eyes have been opened and whatever pain she was feeling is filling up with joy. 

The Alaskan’s Brian and Andrea, the veteran hippies as I have come to see them.  Brian always seemed like he was in the medicine even when we were hanging out at the kitchen table.  I always felt that he had the most knowledge but kept it more as a secret to himself.  I wish I had more time to learn more about him and his experience.  Andrea was the biggest beam of light you could ask for.  Both her and Brian having done the medicine before helped us all prepare for our realizations by having them walk us through theirs.

Lastly Matt and Jonnie, who I am also sad to say I did not get to know either one the way I would have wanted to but they too were always a welcome addition to all of the weeks events and I truly felt there energy shift to a brighter place by weeks end. 

As we are getting everything together Jill comes and grabs a pic with us and tells us about how inspired she was when she went to bed last night and how it had reignited her energy in the work they were doing.  She let us know how proud she was of all of us of the work we were doing and how we were no ordinary group that she had had.  She then shared with us how many times she had had ceremony, she said over 100 for personal but over 250 total. They took small doses when we were all in ceremony so that they could vibrate on the same level.  This floored me and made me realize that this could be a way of life and a path.  I began to have thoughts that maybe my mind was capable of handling the challenges and perhaps I needed to move down here to see my full potential.  The thought was not overpowering but definitely worth evaluating, and with my new level of consciousness I could keep this idea in check.  

As Casey began to gather us up for a final photo and some last minute hugs he also told us about how our power of manifestation was going to be very powerful now, we would see things coming to us faster than before, he also told us that we may still purge and see visions after we left as the medicine was still active in us. 

I then gave my hugs to everyone and told them that we would all keep in touch through facebook and other forms of communication.  When I got to Miguel however he told me the thing that I needed to hear most.  He said, “don’t be afraid if you feel the medicine calling to you, I feel that she isn’t done working with you.”  It was like an echoing explosion in my head and it made me realize that I wouldn’t just do Ayahuasca again but that it would be soon.  

As Casey took us to the entrance to get in our motokar back to the airport Clark said "it would be so great if we could see the sloth before we leave."  Meagan had missed out on seeing the sloth because she was sick that during the plant walk.  Just as Clark had said the words we turned the corner and boom there was a sloth right over top of the pathway to see us off.  We couldn't believe we had manifested something so quickly.  It was only the beginning.  

Day 6: The Last Day of Rest

After waking up the next morning after my final ceremony the night before I felt completely open and free of fear, however there was a nervous energy still inside me that kept me rocking me back and forth in the night.  There was a feeling last night that I needed to face, the fact that now there was a void where there once was fear.  I needed to start to accept a life without fear.  I went outside just as the sun was rising and way before anyone else was up.  I started to walk to the hammocks outside of the kitchen and started thinking about my experience last night.  I knew if I could just release some emotion that the feeling might purge from my system.  I walked into the kitchen where I could have some privacy and forced myself to release some tears.  About 5 min in Miguel walked into the kitchen, “how was the night?” he said, wanting to pull me into conversation and seeing what I was still processing.  I told him about the fear and how I was able to overcome, but I was now having trouble understanding how to fill this void and deal with an entire part of my life now missing. 

Miguel took in my experience and I immediately see that he could completely relate to the encounter through a similar dealing with fear in his own ceremonies.  He began to tell me about another plant called Iboga that Shaman’s use to be initiated and it can send you in to the trance up to 3 days.  He had been smoking it with them, which brought on shorter experiences but did it for 3 months.  He recalled a story, which I shared in my video journal.  This story as well as a question he asked regarding where the fear originally came from, also talked about in the video, allowed me to overcome some of the nervousness I had.  I could tell that after we had chatted that Miguel was inspired by my stories and he understood the amount of courage I had against the medicine.  He told me that we would be having a flower bath to release all of our negative energy and told me that it was the perfect thing for me after what I went through.

After speaking to Miguel I decided to go outside and many more had started to come in to grab some breakfast and wanted to hear the story.  I told them a short version, as I wanted to hear about there lessons.  It had seemed that this night was a far better experience with everyone, with no one else going to a negative place expect me.  We had breakfast together and than I had a feeling I wanted to share a smoke with these people on my last day.  We all sat on the porch of the ceremonial hut and it all felt so surreal that the experience was over. 

I could feel all the love from the people around me, especially from Harvey who I feel has really connected with all of us and treats us as family.  I know that he does not have the support at home or will be able to share this experience easily with them but together in this place we all can talk freely and openly and without judgment as we all have had a shared consciousness.  Everyone passes some herb around and shares in the community, which gives us a familiar bond of home and an evolved bond here. 

Casey then starts talking about the old location that the retreat was at and how they used to do the brewing process.  We had all thought that we would be preparing the brew and brewing it together in camp but he explained that they had no fully grown Ayahuasca vines yet and that the process was time consuming and sometimes had issues with the potency of the brew.  He therefore has found a source that he purchases the brew from that is very reliable and consistent and frees up his time to do other things around camp and be more of a spiritual advisor. 

After a very intense night where I was sweating more than I ever have before, I decide to go have a shower before my flower bath so that my body will be clean as well as my soul.  I quickly grab my stuff and head to the showers, the water is cold as usual but I now have started to enjoy it and even look forward to it after the sun comes out. 

When I dry off and come out in my swim suit ready for my flower bath it comes to me that this is a perfect time to grab a picture of everyone individually so that I can see everyone in a very happy and free state of mind.  A pure and natural moment to capture.  I grab my camera and return just as Jill is bringing out the two giant pales of Ice-cold water with lots of flowers and leaves in them, I grab a handful to smell and it is absolutely lovely.  One by one we all sit down in the sun on a stool as Jill pours 3 ice cold buckets over our head.  We all joke that this really isn’t cleansing but a way for them to get back at us for cleaning up after us all week.  Of course it isn’t and the feeling of the water although cold is the most refreshing and the most freeing sensation describable.  I get a picture of everyone as they go up except Ifran who is sick. It comes to me last and as it comes over my shoulders I feel reborn.  I feel all of the week’s experiences wash away and a complete feeling of relief come over my being.

We all go and shower off the flowers and other plants in our hair and in our shorts and return back for lunch. We have a wonderful beat salad.  After lunch Meagan and I slipped back to the cabin and laid down on the bed and have a quick nap before the artists come to bring paintings and other textiles to buy.  The nap is short lived as they arrive almost immediately.  Meagan and I buy a few more things for friends and my mother and then go look at the amazing artwork and start to have memories of the colors we saw in our visions portrayed in the art.

There is one that is calling to Meagan and I, many are extremely colorful and have amazing detail and realism however it is the simplest of pictures that speaks out.  It is the green that Meagan had seen in her visions about the pyramids.  We get him down from $300-$150 but we have to make the payment through western union when we get home as we don’t have the money on us, so he decides to think about it. 

While we are waiting I tell Jill that I want a Witto tattoo to commemorate the achievement of facing my fears from the night before.  I want an Ayahuasca cross section with the Icaros surrounding it with two serpents circling the piece and crawling over my shoulder.  The piece will only cost me 15 Soles about $7.  The sun is hot so we try to find a corner where it is cooler and shaded but it is hard to keep myself from perspirating while he draws on my back.  Only an hour later and the piece is finished but is very light on my skin.  He tells me it will get darker through the night.

Todd decides to buy the painting we wanted so we take a pic of it as we plan to have it printed because it still speaks to us.  We then head back to our hut and begin by packing up everything and preparing to leave tomorrow morning.  The feeling is half of excitement to start this journey home and half of worry, that no one will understand us like people do in this place.  The reality is that we need to start the real journey of life with all of this new knowledge and part of our brain active and use it for good or the experience is worthless. 

After packing we head back to the sharing circle and to share in our last supper together as a group.  We are having lentils in a curry with mixed veggies.  We are some of the last to arrive and find ourselves in position to share last.  After hearing everyone and there positive experiences it comes to me and I know that there is much I would like to share but don’t want to take too long as I had just recorded a long video diary with lots of realizations.  I am by far the longest talker as I give everyone the greater part of the experience and when I am finished the room is in awe.  Many shared how powerful it was for them to hear and comprehend.  Jill shared at the end that many of the experiences that we shared tonight reminded her of the things that she went through and inspired her to build this place with Casey. 

We all then shared our deep appreciation of one another through this process and the amazing love and support we had for one another as there really was nothing to hide anymore. They had heard or seen us go through some of our most personal moments in our lives.  I shared my respect and love to Ramses who had multiple times brought me through some pretty powerful realizations.  We shared a hug and grabbed a photo and I told him he was a brother to me and I wanted him to be present at my wedding if he could. 

As we left the kitchen we asked a few to come back to our hut and share in a smoke before bed.  A few turned into the whole group of travelers.  We shared our love once again and talked about whether or not we would do it again.  The general consensus was that we all would at some point but none was in a rush too, a feeling that would change by morning. 

Just as we were about to send everyone back to their huts to go to bed Lee shared a conversation he had had with Casey that hit me hard.  He said that after you had done Ayahuasca more times and worked through all of your questions and your challenges that you started to have abilities that were far beyond our minds capacity.  He shared of one of these abilities being 360-degree perception and awareness.   This made me realize that I was capable of much more and why many devote their path to exploring other capabilities with in there own consciousness. 

This was the thought I went to bed with and little did I know that I would enter into a vision in my dream that would change my outlook on my experience the next morning.  

Day 5: Ceremony 3: Fear! The Thief of Dreams

Last night was one of the greatest experiences of my life.  I spent most of the morning sleeping and decided to have a late breakfast so I can bask in the memory of last night’s epiphanies.  During breakfast and afterwards we all just keep sharing our experiences from last night since everyone went into the medicine.   I seemed to have had the most positive journies from last night as many were talking about very dark presences and lots of fear in the room.  I felt the need to share about how I was able to work with my consciousness to achieve great realizations to possibly bring light to others. 

After a delicious quinoa salad for lunch we had a little free time before share circle so I went and had a nap to process and get ready for tonight’s ceremony and hopefully another night of bliss.  After a quick nap I head back to the ceremony room to share again in a more formal meeting to learn and listen to others once again.  Even when you are not sharing, the light and positivity still bring you up and it is so great to be apart of.  I sit next to Irfan and Meagan, there are a few missing today including Jen and Cody, but most are present. 

Jonie shared that she had much of the same visions from the first night, which upset her because there was so much pain that night.  She said that she felt she was being shown it again because she needed to face it again without any emotion. 

Matt, Harvey, Brian, Clark and Hillary all told about their demons they saw.  Many didn’t quite know how to handle it or what there meanings were.  Hillary spoke of seeing many skulls and Clark saw a hooded figure but chose not to face it and ran away from it. 

Kristen spent most of the night crying and was terrified.  She said she didn’t know how to process any of it, which is to be expected for someone so young.  Lee spent a lot of time that night trying to suck the pain away from Kristen with the help of Orlando but didn’t do lots of work himself that night. 

After all had shared their experience it came to me.  I was the only one who had feelings of heaven on earth. When I shared my story I went on a bit longer than others. When I was done I expected people to comment that I spoke a little too long but instead everyone was really taken back by my comments and many commented how beautiful my experience sounded.  That made me feel amazing that I was able to bring some positive energy back in the meeting. 

After the meeting I quickly went back to the hut to grab my journal and iphone to record a video journal about last night before the ceremony tonight.  I spend the next couple hours getting everything out, either on paper or on video and then grab my stuff to head to ceremony three.  I hope that the experience isn’t exactly the same but even if it is I will be happy for it.  See you on the other side.  


Below is another video describing my most intense and profound night with Mother Ayahuasca.  It is a true representation of what is possible when working with the medicine.  It is by far the best video of the journey.  Enjoy!!

Day 4: Ceremony 2: Journey to the Center of my Mind

We woke up early today, around 6:30, as soon as the sun came up.  I slept soundly for the first time since we have been here.  I had only slept two hours total in the past two days so a nice rest was much needed.  I rolled over to see how Meagan was feeling and to my excitement she looked and felt 100% better.  Meagan also realized that her yeast infection was gone. She believes she may have puked it all out over the past day.  Hillary and Clark also had great sleeps and felt very refreshed and excited for an event filled day. 

We had a shower since we didn’t in the last two days and got in some clean clothes to tackle this new day.  Meagan is not a camper by any means so I am sure not changing or showering in a few days has been quite an adjustment.  Breakfast was served at 8:00am, oatmeal, hard-boiled eggs and smoothies again.  It is all so good I don’t even care.  I down as much as I can as we only have a short amount of time before we head to the Shapibo village of San Francisco where they are preparing lunch and selling some textiles and other Ayahuasca merchandise. 

We all head back to the cabin to grab what we need for the day, I get my camera, 400 Soles, my hat but because of the cloud coverage today I decide not to toss on any sun block.  When I arrive at the kitchen to meet everyone we head to the front entrance to await transportation via motokar.  It will only cost 8 Soles, which is $3 American.  So ridiculous since it is over 20 min away.  It just shows the poverty in the area. 

We hop in with Matt and bounce along the dirt road and into Pucallpa*.  Matt and I haven’t had an opportunity to talk or bond much since arriving so I take the time to chat with him a bit as I have travelled in Australia and New Zealand.  We arrive in Pucalpa and it is so different from Lima in atmosphere, lifestyle and energy.  We arrive at the river and I am so excited to get in the boat.  We had originally thought that we would be arriving at our camp using the boats but that was to the Tierra Vida’s previous location. We are happy that we still get the opportunity.  Our group separates into two boats and we head down the river.

It is so surreal how it feels to be in a completely different part of the world doing things I have only seen on the television, like the Amazing Race.  Everyone on our boat sparks up a mopacco that we light off of the engine motor, and smoke as we continue down stream.

The boat nears the dock and we all hop off and see this enormous rock staircase.   It leads us to the longest rickety wooden bridge over top of a swamp like environment.  I am sure anacondas are lurking below us, they are very common in these parts.  Apparently anacondas are not poisonous but it doesn’t mean I want to run into one.  As I am walking down this scary bridge with no rail the scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom comes to mind when a single board breaks and Short Round falls through. Just as I think of this, a board flips up and I almost fall off.  Thankfully dancers never fall so I recover gracefully, or at least I think so. 

The sun starts beaming through the clouds and I can feel it on my back.  This close to the equator it is sure to burn me so I try to walk in shade the most I can.  After about a ten-minute walk we arrive in the village of San Francisco*.  It is lined with children all following us from the dock almost as if we were celebrities**.  They all have been warned that foreigners are coming to town.  The houses** are beaten down and by first glance it looks like extremely poor standard of living.  The houses have no walls and no toilets, just holes in the floor.  It gave me a whole new perception of poverty, however the kids and families seem to be so happy and everyone seems safe and loving. 

*

**

Upon arrival at our meeting place we are met with a multitude of people who have prepared lunch and setup their market*.  The first thing we do is a little more shopping.  Meagan and I have been talking about buying a tapestry** to bring home.  There are so many beautiful ones but the trick is to buy something that will still make sense at home.  I am a big bracelet person so I found a couple of nice ones to bring back as well.  Everything works out to be about $40 American but that is a steal based on the quality of materials. 

*

**

The Shapibo’s have prepared for us a fish called Shirrapira that looks kind of like a catfish.  The fish is not gutted and you pretty much rip it open and work around the guts and bones to find the meat.  It is a lot of work but the skin and meat are extremely delicious.  There are also beans, avocado, tomatoes and plantains.  I make sure to eat as much as possible to make sure I have enough energy for tonight’s ceremony. 

As we are all eating another Caucasian comes up to us and asked us where we are from.  He sounded like he was German.  We told him that we were from Canada but our group was from all over.  He had said that the Shaman had said that foreign travelers were coming so he wanted to come and see who they were.  It turned out he was living here with the Shapibo’s to do 50 ceremonies with the Shaman.  That is extremely inspiring to me that someone could come and devote so much time to learn more about themselves.  He talked to us briefly and then went on his way. 

After lunch we make the trek back to the boats.   Lee decides to hop in the water with some of the kids playing first.  He is told that there are small piranhas in the water but he doesn’t care since there appears to be kids having fun.  Immediately when he jumps in he screams from the bites.   It is not painful he says, but you can feel it all over your body for sure.  He hops back in the boat and we head back the way we came. 

After arriving back at camp, the Shamans from the other night have arrived to bring Meagan and Kristen their medicinal remedies.  It is all completely organic and is made up of all plants that have been found in the jungle.  The Ayahuasca speaks to the Shamans and tells them what plants to use for certain people and afflictions.  They say they hear this from the spirits that live in the jungle.  We pay them an offering of 100 Soles; it is not required but suggested to show our appreciation.  Meagan gives it a taste and is amazed by how good it tastes. 

Meagan and I head back to the cabin to gather our things.  Meagan tells me that she is going to participate in ceremony tonight after what the Shaman’s had told her.  She does not want to be afraid of the medicine after she has seen its healing powers already on her body.  We then head to the ceremony room and I choose the spot with a dolphin blanket because I saw one today when we were on the boat.  We have a new Shaman tonight, Orlando.  I look forward to a beautiful night. 

Below is a video to account everything I could remember from the experience. It is long but extremely vivid in detail. I couldn't imagine putting it all into words so I felt it was best to hear it and see it from my mouth. It was made the day after the 2nd ceremony. 

Day 3: A Gloomy Day of Recovery

I run from my hut to the kitchen where the only people up so far are Rifat and Aga.  I tell Aga the situation and ask if she can wake up Casey to give her some healing herbs.  Moments later she comes back with both Casey and Jill.  Casey has some medicinal herbs in hand and tells Jill to go and get the Shamans as they spent the night in the hammock.  Casey walks into our tambo and sees just how bad Meagan is.  She is in a cold sweat and doesn’t even have the energy to roll over.  When we try to get her attention she has very little reaction and no clue where she is.  She struggles even to take the smallest of amounts.  I am hoping the relief will come fast but it appears it is far worse than I could have imagined. 

Jill walks in the door with the Shamans and they sit on the bed next to Meagan.  They first do an examination of her by placing there hands on her stomach and pushing deep inside her midsection to see what is going on.   Jorge then sings a silent Icaro into a bottle of medicine he has brought in.  I would enjoy watching this process if it wasn’t my girlfriend suffering.  The whole thing was like watching something on the Discovery Channel or National Geographic.  We had seen the Shaman’s amazing gifts the night before but this was on the next level.  Meagan continues to purge throughout the process.  In an effort to stop her from purging for the first time in over 15 hours he does something so amazing.  He places his lips around her belly button and sucks as hard as he possibly can that it almost sounds like he is growling.  He appears to be pulling the medicine out of her, almost like an exorcism.  After he pulls away, Meagan opened her eyes and for the first time had her first feeling of relief since taking the medicine. 

The Shamans then communicate to Jill and Casey that there is a large physical blockage in her abdomen called a “choke”.  The blockage is about the size of an apple and it is why the medicine reacted in her body in this way.  They will come back tomorrow after they have prepared a medicine to help with the blockage as well as for the yeast infection she had upon arriving in the jungle.  Jill then inquires about the next ceremony and if she should participate.  They recommend that she only take a little and promise that it will not happen again but she needs to participate for her own strength so she is not afraid of the medicine.  Although I know the chances are very slim that she will participate based on her physical condition and her attitude but it is good to know it is still a possibility. 

The news and healing by the Shamans has taken quite a toll on me that it makes me start to cry as the emotion is difficult to handle and the fear of not sharing this experience may shortly become a reality.  I just want her to feel better but it doesn’t look like it is going to be anytime soon.  We all leave to give her time to rest and calm down after quite an experience.

As we head to the kitchen we run into Lee and Harvey both of whom had quite an amazing first experience.  Lee went in very hard and had to deal with lots of things like facing fears.  Harvey seems to be a little tamer but still the stories of any experiences make my blood boil with jealousy.  It doesn’t make sense as to why everyone went in so hard when I felt so incredibly sober at the end.  I know I needed to be there for Meagan but the frustration still bothers me. 

Breakfast is fruit salad and portage, not exactly my ideal first meal but after no sleep and no food for 24 hours I will take anything at this point.  More stories of peoples’ experiences are exchanged.  There were a few that did not purge at all the previous night making me wonder why Meagan is going through so much when she is one of the healthiest people here.  The only other person who was as sober last night was Kristen.  She did purge but did not have anything profound happen either but she was displaying her grudging attitude a little more on her shoulder.  Every time she hears her boyfriend Lee talk so excited about his encounter you can see her blood boil.  As she begins to voice her displeasure in the experience, the cook Miguel quickly comments that not only is it common to not be taken in the first time but also the anger is Ayahuasca working.  She is bringing out the primal emotions in us that we must face before we can receive her healing.  This brings some perspective and relief to the situation and gives us some peace.  

Afterwards I go back to the hut to check on Meagan, she doesn’t appear to be purging anymore and for the first time is sleeping.  I decide to take this opportunity to write in my journal so I don’t forget all of the things I have seen and learned.  Only a few pages in the tiredness sinks in and it is time to take a much-needed nap. I head outside to find a hammock and it seems I am not the only one to think this way on a gloomy day of recovery.

My nap is short lived however as Meagan begins to puke once again by her own hand.  I beg her to stop but she pleads it is the only way she can feel any relief.  She notices however that she is no longer puking up water or bile but instead begins puking out a white substance.  I get up to finish writing in my journal and then go for some lunch.  Quinoa salad and plantains are a nice afternoon snack.  I honestly don’t know what my body would be doing if I were dealing with all of this but feeding it my regular diet of burgers, diet coke and pizza.  The nutrients of our meals are like a surge of positive energy through my body and no feelings of fatigue or digestive problems come over me in the morning, I can truly feel my body detoxing. 

Jill comes and asks me how Meagan is doing and suggests that she should try having some oil to help her sleep because she cant seem to fall in for longer than 20 min.  Casey quickly grabs a piece of banana and puts a healthy amount of oil on it and takes it to her.  He informs us that she needs to keep it down for at least an hour but if she can do that she will fall asleep.  She slowly begins to drift off after I hold her in my arms for about an hour.  So as not to disturb her I decide to go hangout back in the kitchen. 

Aga upon arrival asks me how things are going.  I explain the situation and she says to me that is just how Ayahuasca works.  I said to her “neither of us went in though, so how is she working on us?”  She said “Sometimes she prepares you even before you take the brew and her lessons aren’t always through visions or feelings but can be intensely physical.”  She also told me that she spoke to Hillary and had said that she was here in the jungle because she feels that Meagan has a control over her life.  She also thought that Meagan often tried to take on the pain that Hillary was feeling and deal with it herself.  Aga explained that Mother Ayahuasca was sending her all of Hillary’s pain to Meagan, and further more possibly even all of the groups pain like a lightning rod.  She had mentioned that the vibes were very strong in the room yesterday and lots of it had to do with the power in the room but also the groundedness of the anchors.  Meagan often talks about how strong she is and the medicine was using her for that purpose.  Aga also affirmed to me that the reason I didn’t go in was because as her companion I am connected to her and needed to be there to support, which is why I did not get tired and was extremely alert and awake.  All of this info hit me like a bag of hammers.  Aga also told me that Jill and Casey would most likely convince but not force Meagan to participate again as it is all-apart of the healing process.

After talking about Meagan for a while Aga tells me how she became to be in Peru and some of her ceremonies.  She told me that often people don’t have visions per say but sometimes just feelings, emotions and intuitions.  Something common in her experiences was the feeling of snakes wrapping around her spine her body and shooting positive energy out her crown.  She also told me that her visions have also given her very heightened feelings of manifestation.  She told me that she was now able to manifest faster than ever before.  She shared how she manifested her relationship with Ramses and her trip to Peru as well as her job at the Tierra Vida.  This made me very calm and excited at the same time. 

Going back to check on my love I pray I will walk in and she will either be ok or she will be sleeping.  When I arrive she is fast asleep.  Clark tells me that we will be sharing our experiences inside the ceremony room so I send my love to Meagan and go to the meeting. 

Everyone is sitting in a circle in the ceremony room minus Irfan, Rifat and Meagan.  There is a talking stick presented by Jill and each of us will take turns holding it and sharing our night’s journey.  The Alaskan’s are the first to share.  They both had very profound visions as they had both worked with the medicine before.  They talked about a download of information almost so fast it was almost impossible to take it all in.  Brian spoke of a strong moment where he was able to see his mother who had past and was able to release her spirit.  He often has dreams of her sick and dying but last night he saw her well and happy. 

Hillary shared that she also was struggling to go in because of the attention on her sister but after she was being taken care of she started having visions of animals and the evolution of man.  She also saw Senna and Kayla, her daughters, grow old into women.  This made her and others emotional. 

After I shared Clark was next, he talked about how when he went in that the feelings of anger and frustration he was feeling were replaced with feelings of serenity.  He said when he went outside that every step he took light would come out and every tree he touched started to glow as if there was one powerful energy going through every living thing. 

Cody was next and this was his third ceremony in 5 days as he had just come from working directly with a Shaman so his visions were much more vivid and intense.  He explained that in his first ceremony she redefined what he knows about energy and the universe.  The second, he said was a extremely physical experience that took him deep inside his mortal body.  This time however he had trouble going in at first and he asked, “Am I doing this wrong” and she replied “Yes you are.  I have shown you all that you need to see.  Now would you like to see some lights?”  This made our whole group laugh.  He said he was apprehensive about doing it again now but he feels there is far more that he wants to know. 

Matt, shared how he saw the Icaros drawings and they began to fill in with color.  He also had the feelings of peace and joy.  He also felt the separation of heart, mind and spirit.  He was smiling the whole time.  Jonie then shared about how she was sent on a journey to her past lives by a cartoonish character kind of like Beetlejuice, but when she asked who this person was she replied “I am you.” 

Harvey said he didn’t go in too deep but that he felt a great amount of love that he just wanted to spread around. He also spoke of patterns and shapes but no visions.  Jen and Kristen both spoke of trying to control the medicine but Jill quickly told them that it is the opposite you must succumb to the teachings and experiences.  Todd also saw many colors but mostly had his focus on those around him. 

Lee seemed to have one of the most memorable experiences as he tends to get very excited easily.  He was looking to conquer fear and everything he was afraid of.  At first he was waving his hands around when the medicine was first coming through his body like he was directing an orchestra sending positive vibes to those around him.  He then went outside and sat down in nature where he was then covered by spiders.  He noticed that the lesson was not eliminate fear but to illuminate it. 

The stick was then passed back to Jill.  She gives thanks to everyone and tells us that they often learn themselves from our experiences.  The energy in the room was so strong that she herself was starting to feel sick because of all the vibrations and healing going on.  She felt it was more like a 2^nd or 3^rd ceremony and that the power and vibes in our group is very strong. 

Before dinner I ask Ramses if he has any herbs and papers to roll for Meagan.  The stuff here is so different, it is very seedy and dense but the quality is nowhere near back home.   After getting back and rolling a quick joint for her she only had to take just a few puffs and instantly the remaining nausea went away.  Meagan asks for something sweet to drink and some dinner.  We are having mixed vegetables with mango chutney and coconut water from a freshly cut coconut.  I was so happy to see Meagan eating some food and acting like her self again.  My main goal is not to pressure her to participate in the next ceremony but share with her the insights about why she was sick and hope she will want to continue. 

Ramses enters to drop off some organic sleep aids to her and she apologizes to him as he was helping her back and forth from the bathroom last night.  He let her know that there was no need to feel embarrassed and he had seen much worse and said that being sick is very common.  He enlightened her that Ayahuasca often heals us in different ways and this was part of her healing.  I told Meagan what Aga had told me about why she had suffered and as I told her I could see it was clicking in her head.  She said, “I am the strong one out of me and my sister.”  She was starting to see just how powerful she was, this brought her and I both to tears.  She then turned to me and said, “See I knew we were connected that’s why she wouldn’t keep us apart.”  This brought a huge smile to my face.